“Bismillah ar Rehman ar Raheem, alhumdullilah he Rab il Alamin, almursaleen wa khaatim un nabeen wa saft khalaq a ijmaeen qaool e imabad Praise for Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala The one we ask help, mercy, forgiveness and we seek refuge with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala from the bad deeds of ourselves and the evil of ourselves. Whoever Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala guided will never be misguided. But whoever Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala leave to be astray, abandon, leave them in charge of their own self, they’ll never be guided. They are in a serious trouble. I be witness there’s no Lord or Thee worthy to be worshipped but Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala one and only one and Muhammad (PBUH) his servant, his messenger, the best and purest of Allah’s creation, the face of glad tidings, the sweet heart for the good hearts, for the good people. The most beloved to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala First of all my brothers, my sisters, dear believers, the best greetings of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala to all of you and upon all the bright faces that makes “sajood” to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala,the one and only one deserving of these “sajood” and to all the sincere hearts that finds comfort, happiness, satisfaction, content, trust, success with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala. The one who command us in the Quran, remind us continuously “All you believe, fear Allah as Allah deserve to be feared and do not die except by the state of Islam” Today inshAllah we will go through the second part of the ITLC Islamic tender love and care, which is Pointing the finger, politely at the sisters You may call this particular speech This particular “khutba” Snap out of it sisters Sisters, this “khutba” might sound …chilly But it’s all full of respect for you, full of love for you It is better to listen to a chilly talk, a chilly reminder to make you Snap out of certain practice you are doing that could really Lead your ho relationship into bankruptcy, into divorce It is better to listen to this chilly talk Better than living A miserable life of divorce Sometimes We could really avoid This particular crisis By having One line One “ayah”, one “hadith” of rasulullah(SAW) , one quick reminder I remind you again We started the “khutba” ITLC, pointing the finger politely at the brothers and we said we start with the brothers because when the man is happy at home, that means one person is happy but when the sister, the wife is happy at home, that means the whole family is happy. We go to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala You wanna talk to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala, you can do it, very simple Go in your salaat, make sajood, talk to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala You wanna listen to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala talking to you, Very simple Read the Quran. Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala’s talking to us and telling us Closest to the meaning that “from His signs That He created for you, from you maids, so you may dwell in tranquility” And Allah put among you Love and mercy Tranquility, it is a great matter, it is a great aim. It is a great accomplishment for the marriage Tranquility, “sakeena” Let us take Some farce Tranquility. Or let us take a look at The sikina, the knife, not the sakeena, the sikina There’s a difference between sakeena, which is tranquility Sikina, which is the knife That slaughter some of these marriages For example, you may see a wife Ignoring her husband totally, ignoring his rights, ignoring Her full time Duty towards him and busy with the Quran, reading the Quran Thinks that she’s really collecting Ajar and collecting blessing. In reality In reality, this woman who’s ignoring her husband’s right And reading the Quran The Quran is cursing her. So we are not reaching tranquility And we are not practicing The real Islamic tender love and care. Another matter that really slaughters the marriage. When a wife takes off any time she wants to anywhere she wants, she hang out with anyone she wants, without hr husband’s knowledge, without her husband’s yes permission that really will not get us sakeena it will get a sikina, deep into the marriage, which is a knife, into the marriage a wife who really forget that rasulullah(SAW) described her as a fragile whistles rasulullah(SAW) described her as a fragile whistles that she forgets she becomes a missile missiles to shatter the marriage, by hitting her husband we’ve seen this many times you don’t get close to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala you don’t gain happiness by hitting your husband some of us will laugh at this but in reality, this is what so call terrible things that make you laugh so that particular woman really she’s not gaining tranquility, she’s gaining sikina to slaughter the marriage, she’s becoming a missile not whistles missiles to shatter the marriage sister, snap out of it snap out of it sister your happiness is not in the hand of the shaitaan you are not shaitaan representative. When you are hitting your husband, you become shaitaan representative. You are not the shaitaan the enemy is the shaitaan and your husband is not the shaitaan. The enemy is the shaitaan sister take a look at some of these scenarios I’ll be the wife, if not race to be that wife. Well, rasulullah(SAW) described that the best Joy in this life is a good wife Life is a joy and the best joy in life is a good wife Are you that wife sisters? Race to be that wife, because racing To be good and to do good, it is really a command and it is A great great tip From Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala in the Quran And there are so many, many ways that Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala in the Quran urge us to race, to be good. Are you that woman? Are you that wife who are you have two choices sister. You either to become the most beautiful wife for your husband in heaven or walayad u billah to be hatabin naar, either the hoor, which is the most beautiful, you’ll be the most beautiful wife in the jannah or walayad u billah, the wood of the hell fire may Allah forbid any of my sister that are listening to me now, to be the wood for hell fire. Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala honour you and make you really benefit by these particular advice and words. Are you the wife who will hold her husband’s hand and she will say to him, my husband my eyes will not have the mascara of sleep my eyes will not have the mascara of sleep till you are happy till you are satisfied, whether I upset you, whether you are upset at something whether somebody upset you, my wife my eyes will not have the taste of sleep till you are happy. Are you that wife? If not, race to be that wife, my sister, race to be The hoor, the beautiful wife in the jannah, race to be Shams-un-nahaar wa qamar-ul-laeel The sun of the daytime and the moon of the night time. The sun that gives us comfort And warmth and guidance. The moon that also give us beautiful feeling The moon that give us also, guidance, not the sun that burns Be the sun that gives us guidance, my sister Shams-un-nahaar wa qamar-ul-laeel Really be the big winner Listen to rasulullah(SAW). Copy our mothers, the wives of rasulullah(SAW) Race to be the night, The moon of the night And the sun of the daytime, my sisters Take a look at some of these ingredients The ingredients of the big winner As rasulullah(SAW) described, this particular good woman, She has three major ingredients that when her husband looks at her assarat She will please him by just looking at her Are you that wife? Race to be that wife Never too late When he ask her, when he ask her to do something ata’at She’d listen to him, she’d not say, I’m not your slave She would listen to him, she would obey him Of course we obey with the limitation of the Quran and the sunnah And when he leaves her growing She will protect His privacy, she’ll protect his honour, she’ll preserve his honour She’ll take care of his children, she’ll preserve His great Honour Are you that sister that enjoys these three ingredients that if he looks at you You are pleasing him, when he ask you, when he Tell you to do something, you are obeying him and when he leaves you, You are preserving him These are the ingredients of the big winner The sister, the wife that really rasulullah(SAW) described in a high status Now rasulullah(SAW) also showed that you are the greatest treasure be that great treasure my sisters by saying that the best a man will have is a treasure, which is a good wife race to be that great treasure my sister you have the ingredients to be that great treasure. You have the ingredients to kick the shaitaan out of your life you have the ingredients to remain the fragile whistles. Remain the fragile whistles my sister and quit being missiles, if you happen to be one. Now for us my sisters we have to know that in a relationship, there’s really an account. You have an account with your husband he has an account with you and if you keep depositing good things into your husband’s account, you really have a good credit but if you keep withdrawing and you have no deposit, you don’t deposit patience, you don’t deposit goodness you don’t deposit obedience, you don’t deposit forgiveness, you don’t deposit taking care of yourself and looking your best at home you don’t deposit being soft and wonderful and gentle and fragile whistles. You don’t deposit goodness to the account you just keep withdrawing. If you keep withdrawing from your husband’s account and you have no deposit, what will happen? The relation will end up in bankruptcy bankruptcy means divorce. walayad u billah so relation needs really to think of it like the bank account. You know you keep depositing you keep depositing and that man in his heart will really keep that credit for you. Now. subhanAllah. I mentioned in the last speech that the greatest Bond It is Islam My sister, for us in this furious, stormy life Don’t kid yourself The beauty could fade away. The money the status. Don’t kid yourself my sister We have to really suck Success you know. Take look at the word success Its not called lick, it’s called suck, success it’s called not lickcess Success. We have to suck from the teaching of rasulullah(SAW) in this life So for us, to keep this marriage bond, to keep this marriage really shoulder to shoulder. If something hit this marriage you know, its not effecting the roots, it may really effect the leaves but the roots are really strong, we have to keep Islam our bond and enjoy your life. Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala declared in the Quran closest to the meaning whoever is doing good deeds, male or female and they have iman the have faith Allah’s promising them to have a good life now, one of your good deeds is being a great wife. Being a wonderful wife copy the teachings of the sahabiat. copy the teaching of the big winner, my sisters you’ll never bankrupt rasulullah(SAW) one time approached by a group of people and they want to make sajood prostration…for him, out of respect, out of love out of greatness and glory. rasulullah(SAW) refused this. They said ya rasulullah those people making sajood prostration to their great one, the one they love we want to make sajood to you ya rasulullah. rasulullah(SAW) refused and closest to the meaning said and declared if there is anyone, if I have to order anyone to make sajood, prostration to anyone it would have been the wife for her husband look at the value of the husband. We spoke about your value in the previous khutba. Now we are reminding you of the value of you man And this is authentic Now take a look sister. What type of a wife you want to be. Do you want to be The wife that end up being the most beautiful wife in the life after, in paradise you wanna live the Islamic life that gives the wife the greatest value on earth take a look at what what happened actually before Islam. Before Islam, my sisters they used to bury you alive and Islam came and protected you. Take a look at many examples I’m going to show you what is the value of woman or what do we say about woman starting from Islam. Islam says that life is a joy and the best joy in life is a good woman its you sister. Islam says that the best a man could have as a treasure is a good wife. That’s you my sister. Take a look the Chinese will say that you have to have the stick the more you hit the woman, it becomes like the capit, it becomes like the cleaner Islam says that you are the best joy in life Take a look at the Polish. They say that the shaitaan, Satan swallowed the woman but could not digest her What happened? Islam says, you are the best joy in life. Look at your value. What else The Italians, they say, hold the stick for the good woman and for the bad woman. Hold the stick. Islam says, you are the best joy in life. My sisters, what type of a wife you want to be The French, we heard about the French romance, false romance. We have the best romance on Earth. Islamic romance The French they say that the woman Evil that you must have but Islam says, you are the best joy in life. You are the best treasure a man could have. The Japanese They say That it takes the shaitaan, the devil, ten hours to trick It takes him one hour ten men But it takes the women one hour to trick ten shayateen, ten devils. But Islam says, you are the best joy in life. What kind of a woman you want to be My sister? A Muslim woman or a Japanese woman, or Italian or French or I’m coming more The Greek they say don’t trust the woman if she’s dead or alive. Islam says, you are the best joy in life. The English, what does the English say about women? They say that the woman has a long hair and a short brain. Islam says, you are the best joy in life. My sister, what type of a woman you want to be We go back to the Japanese The Japanese also they say that The devil is the student of the woman And the teacher of the man Islam says, you are Really the best joy in life and you are the best treasure. Look at your value in Islam And there’s much more. If I really have a tongue from heaven, I cant describe to you, Your great value because it is By Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala designated and there are many ayah and hadith To show your value. The Serb, the Serb they say, the man Has two happiness The happiness when he gets married and the happiness when he buries his wife. Islam says, you are the best joy in life. Take a look at this big winner. A woman Happen. This is a general story A woman supposed to be really So beautiful, she happened to be a knock out so called Really beautiful. What we call it gorgeous to get married to a man who is not nice looking. The story says even as ugly. The story described him by that word ugly so For us we don’t have anyone who’s ugly, who make wadoo and take down his face to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala and make sajood and make prostration to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala, you are so beautiful my brother but the story says that this man is not nice looking. He married this gorgeous woman the woman took his hand and said to him my husband I married you you are not so good looking but you described it in a different way and I am patient and I am a gift for you from Allah and you are thankful the thankful people as-shakir-was-sabir-fil-jannah she said the one who thank Allah and the one who has patience because of Allah, they are both in the jannah look how she looked at her husband. Not knocking him down and saying you know, you are ugly looking and you aren’t gorgeous. No she said both of us in the jannah Allah gave you me And you thanked Allah And Allah gave me you and I’m patient fi-sabil-lilah, We are both in the jannah Finally or close to finally, my sisters I want to look, to take a look At this particular, tarbu mother. You know tarbu The word tarbu. You hear it like from tarbukhar. But if you think about that word Tarbu from tarrabu, tarbia, good manners This tarbu mother, great mother, she’s advising her daughter And a great Advice on her wedding night. I would say this quickly in Arabic and I would translate it in English This tarbu mother is telling her daughter on her wedding night. This great mother Oh my daughter, my beloved daughter, you’re leaving the home that you’re raised into A home which is strange to you and a companion you haven’t get along with Be A slave for him Actually she said, be a servant for him, he will be a slave for you And take care of ten important matters. Number one and two Live with him in a happy content way, in an obedient way Be in a way that you’re obeying him and You are content with him The third and the fourth. Check the way Or where his eyes fall and what his nose smell. He should never see an ugly thing about you And he should always smell beautiful thing from you The fifth and the sixth. She said Take care of the timing of his food and His sleep. And amputation of his hunger It is an anger and ruining his sleep, also it is vulgar and anger The seventh and the eighth Take care of his wealth and his children With the wealth, proper management and with the children Proper mannering, Islamic mannering. The ninth and the tenth Don’t disobey him. Don’t Argue with him And don’t release his secret Arguing and disobeying him, his chest will be tight against you And bitter against you. And releasing his secret, you cant be secure from his revenge Finally she tell her daughter Don’t be happy, when he’s worried and sad. And don’t be sad While he’s happy And jolly And you have to be The most among the people to glorify him, he will be the most generous to you And you will never reach satisfaction and Whatever you love, you can’t get except by putting him ahead of you From the thing you love and the thing you hate You put him ahead of you and Allah will choose the best for you My sisters, you have to remember Naturally Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala created us to walk with our foot Try to change this nature. Try to walk with your hand and your legs up What will happen? You can’t go a long distance. You’ll get tired, you’ll fall, you’ll break your head. Anytime we change the nature of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala, we don’t go long We will get tired, we will fall, we’ll break our head. What does that mean? Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala made the man in charge of the steering wheel Not two people. Two people in charge of the steering wheel, we cause an accident Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala my sisters Made the man in charge of the steering wheel. Don’t change that nature Yes you could ask the man, the husband, Honey can you make a right turn, he will make a right turn Or can you go straight, yes we’ll go straight but the steering wheel Into the husbands hand Naturally. You try to change that nature, we will end up in a divorce We will end up facing very miserable relationship Now subhan-Allah This particular advice my sister. It might have sound a little bit chilly But for you to have you this particular. Snap out of it sister Politely pointing the finger at you, it’s better than living with a miserable divorce or a miserable relationship with this advice may Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala cause it to be a benefit for you my sister and cause you to remain the crown on top of the man’s head because the good woman is the precious crown on top of the man’s head. Take care of the head keep the head up because if the head goes down, what will happen? The crown will fall on the floor The crown will fall between the feet. Keep the crown high, on top of the man’s head Very precious crown. You are sister, the very precious crown on top of your husband’s head Take care of that head. May Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala cause you my sisters, all of you Listening to me or watching me to be The hoor in paradise, the beautiful wife for your husband in paradise May Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala cause the “sakeena”, the tranquility In your marriage, in this life and give you jannah and your husband in the life after a listener can be much better than a speaker “jazakumullah khair. Assalam u alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh”