“Bismillah ar Rehman ar Raheem, alhumdullilah he Rab il Alamin, Al Rehman ar Raheem, noor al samaat ul arz, nahmed u nastaeena wa nastaghfir ul nastahdeed wa naoozobillah himinashaee wa anfusanah nafsiaana amadana wa ahdillaho al muhtad wa ashwadullah illaha illah wahdahoo la shareeka lah wa ash hud unna muhammeden wa abdu hu wa rasulu ho imam almursaleen wa khaatim un nabeen wa saft khalaq a ijmaeen saeeyadi sadaat al Arab wal ajam fakhria faya aiyuhun rajeeoona fa iksar o minas salaate alaee salalah ho alaeehi wa ashaab e wasallam tasleem ul kafeera” Praise for Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala The one we ask help, mercy, forgiveness and we see cru fig with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala from the bad deeds of ourselves and the evil of ourselves. Whoever Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala guided will never be misguided. But whoever Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala leave to be astray, abandon, leave them in charge of their own self, they’ll never be guided. They are in a serious trouble. I be witness there’s no Lord or Thee worthy to be worshipped but Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala one and only one and Muhammad (PBUH) his servant, his messenger, the best and purest of Allah’s creation, the face of glad tidy, the sweet heart for the good hearts, for the good people. First of all my brothers, sisters, dear believers, the best greetings of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala to all of you and upon all the bright faces that makes “sajood” to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala and to all the sincere hearts that finds comfort, happiness, satisfaction, content, trust with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala. Today’s topic, today’s reminder, today’s vitamin It is about a matter each and every one of us really needs Its called reviving the Islamic spirit at home. Another name you could call it ITLC Islamic, tender, love and care. It is two part “khutba”, two part series The first part pointing the finger politely at the brothers At the husband, at ourselves, the males The second part of the speech will be pointing the finger, politely at the sisters ITLC Islamic, tender, love and care Today I’d talk with the brothers, pointing the finger politely at the males, at ourselves, at the husbands Why? ‘cause they say, if the man is happy at home, that means one person is happy but if the woman is happy at home, that means the whole family is happy. Speaking of happiness, Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala give us a great aim A great Reminder A great warning by reminding us continuously to have fear of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala to have took Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala and to reach Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala with “la ilaha illalah muhammad ur rasul Allah” to reach Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala with the state of Islam All you believe, fear Allah as Allah deserve to be feared and do not die except by the state of Islam So dying By the state of Islam, it is the aim For the pious people For the greatest people, for the Prophets as well Meeting Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala with the state of Islam Tak wa Allah, we’ve heard this particular verse over and over and over In the Quran so many times, we’ve heard it, what does it mean? We go back to Imam Ali(RA) who said Closest to the meaning Imam Ali(RA), may Allah be pleased with him said Takwa Allah, it means Fearing Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala. it’s not just loving Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala Takwa Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala also means Putting on practice what Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala sent us and that’s the Quran, not leaving the Quran behind our back living the Quran and putting the Quran in practice. Takwa Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala, it means content, happy, satisfied with the little things that Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala gave us But Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala in reality gave us Huge things. Are we happy? Takwa Allah, it means also preparing for the long journey to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala Preparing for death, preparing to meet Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala. Am I ready to meet Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala If I die five minutes, or one hour That’s a serious matter. Do we have the answer for that? Now we go back to the real topic which is ITLC, Islamic, tender,love and care Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala in the Quran declared Closest to the meaning, translation, Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala is telling all of us that “from His signs That He created for you, from you, pay attention, for you, from you Maids, so you may dwell in tranquility” Muslim scholars concluded from this particular “ayah” that the greatest achievements of a marriage That’s tranquility, “sakeena”. Do we really have “sakeena” in our life? Do we really have tranquility, love, comfort, peace in our relationship There’s a great difference between FTLC and ITLC F False tender love and care and that becomes “sikeena” a knife to slaughter the relationship and the marriage. “sakeena”, it means tranquility and comfort and love “sikina” means knife knife to slaughter the relation. Take look at those who thought they want to get “sakeena” comfort, love, by applying FTLC false tender love and care in their life for example, the man who took his wife to a house of “shayateen”, where a belle’ dancer is really busy in dancing and he’s having dinner with his Muslim wife what happens, at end of the evening, at home, did she tell him I feel so good after a satanic evening I’d like to read Bukhari, I feel so good, I want to make Tahajjud. No way She told him, you know this woman, you’re making me really fool. You’re trying to make fun of me taking me to this particular restaurant. He say, no I don’t know this woman. Both of them are fighting The “shaitaan” is there. Therefore, the “shaitaan” ended really their fight in a divorce Why? Because we take the command of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala and we threw it behind our back Not to follow the footsteps of “shaitaan” And much more. FTLC false tender love and care A person who said strictly to his wife to take her “hijaab” So she may look, politically correct but we call it, satanically correct. You know the business will flourish that way did he apply ITLC? Not at all By taking her “hijaab” off, she’s indeed taking the whole marriage down the drain. Husband wants to kill his wife. Alhadulillah, Allah saved both of them but in reality, the marriage also ended in a divorce Another story for those who thought that they could apply ITLC but they did it the wrong way FTLC. By thinking that he could be cool and allow his wife to go to the theatre with Their neighbour and male neighbour and that male’s husband, male’s wife Next is asking her husband, The muslim woman, I’d like to go with them to the dance, you’re at tour, I’d like to go with them to a dance He thought that he could apply “sakeena” at his home, you know by being easy going that’s sign of love That’s false love What happens Next That neighbour Is after his wife and the man was looking for a gun to shoot his wife and the neighbour and Allah saved them subhanahu wa'ta'Ala He previously shot his ex wife in the face And he spent many years in jail in United States So may Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala guide us To do The right ITLC Islamic tender love and care. Simply talking Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala declared Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala said “all you believe “koo” not “alkoo”, “koo” means prevent yourself and your family from the hell fire” “alkoo”, it means, sounds the same, “koo””alkoo” “alkoo” means throw yourself and your family into the hell fire. Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala did not say this. So for us to take this Particular “ayah”, this particular commandfrom Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala And hang it behind our back, we really suffer We are in a serious trouble Simply talking Those people who take Islam for a ride, you know like a horse Ride in top of Islam, to chase your “duniya”, to chase your life You ended What? Do you get you “duniya” No, your “duniya” Will end up kicking you. You lose your “duniya” and you lose your “din” To cut from our din And to patch our life Its okay, take off the hijaab, cut from your din, patch your life Do you get your “duniya” and “din”. You end up losing your “duniya” And “din”, “wal ayad o billah” Simply talking, math Math, simple math Us Minus Islam equals zero Your Wealth minus Islam Equal poverty Your strength, big muscles Minus Islam Equal defeat and weakness Us minus Islam equals zero “wal ayad o billah” Now rasul Allah(SAW) showing That we have a bond You know we tie two people together You can’t ties them with piece of hair You can’t tie them with piece of clinix tissue You need a strong bond What is that bond? Is that the beauty? The beauty could fade away Is the bond the wealth? The wealth could run out Is that bond the status daughter of so and so That also could fade away The real bond Between a man and a woman, husband and wife, specially in this furious, Stormy Life The real bond is Islam Don’t kid yourself The real life is Islam. If she has Islam and beauty, that’s even great That’s a bonus If she has Islam, beauty, wealth and status, “Alhamdu lillah”, that’s a bonus But get a grip of Islam The advice of rasul Allah(SAW) Speaking of rasul Allah (SAW), we know that the woman is created form the rib Where is the rib my brothers, my sisters. Is the rib in the fist so you could punch it No Is the rib In the foot, so you could kick it. Not at all. Take a look at the precise planning of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala . it is knot by accident. The rib Is next to the heart. So you could take care of her, so you could love her So you could treat her nice, so you could treat her as a fragile whistles As rasul Allah(SAW) taught us that she is a trust in your hand. The woman you can’t buy, you can’t rent, you can’t lease. The woman is a trust in man’s Hand. As rasul Allah(SAW) taught us so she’s next to the heart The rib is next to the heart, so you could take good care of her. Speaking of the rib rasul Allah(SAW) is showing us a great tip rasul Allah(SAW) the best of Allah’s creation showing us that this rib is crooked and if you try to straighten it, what happens you’ll break it break in it, that means a divorce, so accept her crooked my brother, you’ll be happy because you are not perfect as well we are not perfect. Except her crooked, you will enjoy her. No on that particular issue, you are not perfect and she is not perfect You’ll be really happy to think that way and take this particular tip from rasul Allah(SAW), who also showed us the great value of the Woman Of course we’re gonna show the great value of the man, but that’s in the second part of the speech By showing that Closest to the meaning that life is a joy And the best joy in life Is a good woman Look at this great value, the best joy in life is a good Woman So my brothers, my sisters Let us understand Now we started with the man because we said When the man is happy, one person is happy, but if the woman is happy That means the whole family is happy rasul Allah(SAW) declared I’m the best among you and I’m the best to my family, my wives So therefore, for you to be great to your wife It is a business with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala. It is a great business with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala. Take a look quickly At the Islamic wisdom At the good treatment A man Leave the man at the side we talk aboutrasul Allah(SAW) receiving a gift from the Sahabia…they’re sending rasul Allah(SAW) a gift which is food As the servant walking towards rasul Allah(SAW), what happens? Our mother Ayesha,may Allah be pleased with her, tipped the hand of the servant So the food Fall on the floor rasul Allah(SAW) did he start kicking and shoving and pushing? Not at all. These are not the manners of the Quran because rasul Allah(SAW) was a Quran walking on earth these are not the manners of the best of Allah’s creation the most beloved to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala rasul Allah(SAW) immediately, he started picking up food from the floor, giving everybody around him and saying eat, your mother get jealous look at that wisdom of Islam. Another quick story a Muslim imam, sitting down at his house, giving a lecture, a “daras” a speech, about marriage and the student is listening, enjoying the topic his wife is listening at the back now the topic became more rosy for the students. He started talking about marrying more than one woman. Two women, three women and his wife doesn’t like the topic and boiling and he started making the topic more juicy and more nice what happened? The wife of the imam, the teacher Put water, cold water in a pot and in front of his students, came and pour it all over his head He looked at her in a nice, calm, wise way ITLC Islamic tender love and care, he looked at her and he said She thundered and then she rained Everybody laughed No pushing, no shoving, no kicking, wallah e No one gets close to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala by punching your wife In the face. You don’t get close to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala. Islamic wisdom My brothers, my sisters, even the companions And the pious people, what did they say? They say when something is wrong With their horse, their horse is giving them a hard time or their wife is giving them a hard time, they don’t point the finger at their wife, at their horse, they say Means they say “I must have committed a sin, That’s why I find the effect of this particular sin in the manners of my wife Or My Camel or horse”. Now I’d like you to be aware of something dangerous. Its called The Dangerous gum This chewing gum Some of us will go to the super market and check the ingredients. Is this “halal””haram” Whatever. And Often those people who use the same practice to check the ingredients “halal” and ”haram”, they are using a dangerous gum this gum you will get it from the super market of the “shaitaan”. I urge my brothers to quit this gum this gum is called divorce a man will be chewing a sword in his mouth. Every once and then he tells his wife I’ll divorce you, I’m gonna divorce you, I’m going to kick you. It’s like a chewing gum in his Mouth and this particular, dangerous chewing gum will end up Deteriorating his marriage Will end up Really Shaking and breaking the trust of his wife and the love To chew this particular gum and every once in a while he say I’m gonna divorce you I’m going top kick you out Please quit this gum because the “shaitaan” loves divorce The “shaitaan” hates marriages. Take an example The “shaitaan” would put his, you can call it, Office, top of the water, daily and will call the devils so the leader of the crooks will ask What have you done? He would say, I was after that man till I made him steal…okay What have you done? I was after that man till I made him do so and so….fine What have you done? I was after that man till I made him divorce his wife…..you…come here then the “shaitaan” will call him forward so he will be crowned and rewarded and “shaitaan” hate marriage and loves divorce so my sisters and my brothers, you have to understand your husband is not the enemy your wife is not the enemy, the “shaitaan” is the enemy. Allah declared him as enemy take him as an enemy, be aware of him full time. I will tell you quickly, some of the ITLC, right now some of the ingredients of Islamic tender love and care because we could teach the word tender love and care take an example, starting from Assalamualaikum wa rehmat ullah. You know when you come home. You enter your home and you say Assalamualaikum wa rehmat ullah, you are really spreading a positive energy, you’re spreading peace Not only that rasul Allah(SAW) taught us that when you say that You kick the “shaitaan” out, so you’re in with your left foot for example You’re kicking the “shaitaan” out of your home. A brother said, wallah e I came home I was so mad at my wife, so much, I never get mad at her since we got married that much Luckily that she was wise and she just Did not face me, she just turned her back and walked away and I remembered uh oh When I came home, I didn’t say Assalamualaikum. He said wallah e I went outside the door and then within seconds I came inside the home Assalamualaikum wa rehmat ullah she doesn’t even hear me, but the evening ended in love and jokes and Peace Why, because the “shaitaan” is out of the home Another ITLC ingredient, to call your wife with the best name she loves Call her with the best names She loves Call her sweetie pie Call her honey bun, whatever you like. Rasul Allah(SAW) used to use that Yes By saying to our mother Ya Ayesha, ya Ayesh This is sweet calling her Sweet talking to her Another ITLC Ingredient. When you shake the hand of your wife That particular Beautiful Energy that goes through And you are shaking Your sins and her sins and there’s a beautiful contact Another ingredient to smile in your wife’s face Some of us Will have a huge smile From one ear to the second ear Outside home But when he comes home, the mouth is out of service Like a dry bread and if he smiles, he thinks his face will crack No. smile in your wife’s face Wallah e you get rewarded and you get love and much more ITLC looking good for your wife Some of us will look their best outside home Nicely done, when he goes home, he looks like he wants to go under his car, change the oil. You know how he’s dressed. His beard going that direction, his hair going that way You know, No, looking good For your wife It increases that I T LC Making a space for your wife, you know she’s coming and you move and you say honey, here, I warmed the seat for you. Sit down, have a seat, I warmed the seat for you Brother You warmed the seat for her, she will warm Her heart for you Another ITLC ingredient Some of us They really appreciate their wife But that appreciation It is only in the heart Take it from the tongue That’s in the heart, put it in the tongue of your mouth. Deliver. Show that you appreciate her. A gift by the way. It is also ITLC ingredient. It increases the Islamic tender love and care Because rasul Allah(SAW) declared Most of the deeds that Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala loves Such as happiness you bring your Muslim And that means if you’re bringing her a gift and you say Al Rabbi, I wanna please her That’s happiness brought to a Muslim and that’s the happiness to your wife That’s the business with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala. It is a successful business Imam Ali (RA) used to practice something called Sometimes he hears something and he pretended he does not hear it If she does something bad, he pretend he did not see it but It does not mean huge…bad things because something huge Bad You got to help her against the “shaitaan” By ignoring her That means you’re helping the “shaitaan” against her but you pretend you did not hear that word, its beautiful Another ITLC ingredient, To preserve the tongue Because if you’re angry And you let your tongue lose, sometimes you say something my brother It takes years to clean and to white out or wipe out. ITLC ingredient Which is Something really important A lot of women, a lot of wives, they complain about That our husband does not listen to us In reality when your wife comes to complain to you, this is a tip for you my brother, for me When she comes to complain to you, she doesn’t really want to solve the problem, She just wants you To be a listener, be a good listener. Give her these receiving elements called the ears Like a satellite. Give it to her Let he Talk And listen my brothers ITLC, there are so many ingredients, Such as ignoring to be angry Avoid to be angry How? Keeping “wadoo” at all time. It’ll help you to be more balanced and not to get angry and if you happen to get angry, listen to rasul Allah(SAW) who said, if you’re angry sit down Ad if you’re sitting down Lie down Some of us will say, oh if I lie down, she’ll come and kick me in the stomach. No She will not kick you in the stomach You will feel good in the stomach. You’ll feel peaceful There are so many ingredients of ITLC such as Never dig into your wife’s past You are not Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala The past Belongs to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala, does not belong to you. I met a family, whoo are really suffering miserable fights, one time after the other, simply because the husband happened to dig into something happened ten years ago. Don’t dig into your wife’s past Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala is in charge That’s a matter of fact. It will help us as an ITLC To consider ourself as a courier.you are not the provider to your family, Allah’s the provider but you are the courier of the “rizq”. There are so many ingredients of ITLC but the time is really Racing to cut us I will say finally Helping And putting peace between a husband and a wife, it is a great practice, it is a great business with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala. Sometimes Like the family who unfortunately The man who killed his wife here in Toronto. Her sister went to the eighteenth floor and committed suicide I looked at the bodies Covered in the box and I said subhan Allah, they needed somebody maybe half an hour To put peace between them To save this particular tragedy from happening But for us my brothers, my sisters Fixing between a husband and a wife, putting peace between them, It is a great business with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala My brothers my sisters, may Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala Help us To Live with “sakeena” “sakeena” tranquility. ITLC , right, Islamic tender love and care may Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala help us to live with Takw Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala and to meet Allah subhanahu wa'ta'Ala with the state of Islam remember a listrener can be much better than a speaker “jazakumullah khair. Assalam u alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh”